Mike Rowbottom: Creature comforts for English fans

Mike Rowbottom

Superficially, the 2010 World Cup final was contested by two football teams.

But at a deeper level, it was a struggle between and octopus and a parakeet. Or rather, it was an octopus and a Malaysian parakeet against a Singapore parakeet.

As the World Cup finals have progressed, the significant action in stadiums all around South Africa has been supplemented by the activity in the Sea Life centre at Oberhausen, in western Germany, where growing numbers of media representatives have witnessed Paul the octopus and his spectacular, tentacular ability to pick winners.

Unerringly, this German resident has correctly predicted all seven of the national team’s results in South Africa - even the 1-0 defeat to Serbia in the group stages - by choosing between clams marked in the colours of contending teams.
His choice of the Spanish, rather than the German mussel before the semi-finals precipitated a home reaction so stormy that it might even have rocked the quiet waters in which he has happily - as far as anyone can judge - dwelled.

After Germany’s 1-0 defeat, there were suggestions from disgruntled fans that Paul’s prediction may have affected some of the more superstitious members of the team, and German newspapers demanded that Paul be taken to the place from whence he came, and thence to a place of lawful execution.”Throw him in the frying pan!” suggested the Berliner Kurier.

Paul’s subsequent prediction that Germany would beat Uruguay in the third and fourth place match may just have saved his tentacles - although he has back-up in the form of the Spanish President, who has apparently vouchsafed his safety.

That vow is likely to be stronger still given the result of the final. Because when it came to the Big Decision – determining who would actually win the World Cup – Paul, with every appearance of composure, selected once again the clam adorned with the Spanish flag.

According to a spokesman for the bookmakers Paddy Power, Paul’s choice was enough to switch British punters from the Netherlands to Spain in the hours before the final got underway. “The ‘Paul Effect’ has turned betting on its head,” he added.

Paul’s certainty was mirrored by that of Meena Kutti - who, as surely everyone in the world now knows, is an eight-year-old green parakeet living in the Malaysian capital of Kuala Lumpur.

For many years, Meena has restricted predictions to minor matters such as marriage and business fortune. But since turning attention to the pressing matter of the World Cup, this feathered sage has earned new acclaim.

“Meena is one of a kind and is always accurate in her predictions,” said her owner M C Mohan. “Besides, she is a very loyal companion.”

Presented with a choice of envelopes representing the Netherlands and Spain, Meena’s beak went unhesitatingly to the one marked “La Furia Roja” - The Red Fury. Spain.

So that seemed to be that.

Only Mani, another mystically gifted parakeet, begged to differ.

This 13-year-old resident of Singapore’s Little India neighbourhood, originally from India, correctly predicted all four World Cup semi-finalists and Spain’s subsequent win against Germany, and when it came to the final he placed his faith - that is, his beak - in a different direction.

Let me offer you this brief match report, courtesy of the Straits Times: “Mani predicted the Dutch would win by creeping out his wooden cage and choosing between two cards bearing the flags of the contending nations.”

Mani’s owner, astrologer Mr Muniyappa, maintained: “I believe 100 per cent whatever he picks will be right.”

One of Mani’s local fans added this assessment: “Definitely he will be right, that is going to be because before it happened it was right. So we are also believing, he is also most believable, so we are also believing that it will definitely be good.”

Cogent indeed. But sadly for the Mani crew, incorrect, thanks to Iniesta’s late goal. Germany and Malaysia 1, Singapore 0.

And there was one other important result on the night, For the disappointed and disenchanted supporters of England’s World Cup campaign, there remained once final beacon of encouragement on the occasion of the final - other than the fact that all three match officials were also Englishmen.

Because Paul the octopus – Oberhausen’s Paul - is apparently of British origin.

So there it is. At the end of the tournament, we have a British, if not specifically English World Cup winner. Rejoice.

Mike Rowbottom, one of Britain’s most talented sportswriters, has covered the last five Summer and four Winter Olympics for The Independent. Previously he has worked for the Daily Mail, The Times, The Observer, the Sunday Correspondent and The Guardian. He is now chief feature writer for our sister publication, insidethegames